


Lost and Found

by yukiawison



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autumn, Awkwardness, F/F, Gen, Les Amis de l'ABC Shenanigans, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, i channel all my problems into these kiddos and then write about it lol, les amis at a hay bale maze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-01-29 16:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiawison/pseuds/yukiawison
Summary: In which the amis go to a hay bale maze:Marius has something to tell Courfeyrac (and Courfeyrac has something to tell him.)Enjolras is new to "having fun" (and R won't let him half-ass it.)





	1. Preparation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. This is for day 4 of my fic-vember challenge (check out my tumblr @all-we-see-is-bi for more on that.)

“How bad does this sweater look?” Marius stood in his roommate’s doorway in a lumpy, bright orange sweater. It was one of those sweaters that wasn’t even bad in an ironic way. It was just bad. The orange brought out the freckles scattered over Marius’ Parisian nose and cheeks and down his neck and the lumpiness of the poorly executed stitches made the way he was hugging himself, awkwardly with his twig arms, seem even more nervous. Cosette said what she always said, and it was the truth.

“You look great.”

His shoulders relaxed a fraction so she continued. “And we talked about this. You’ve got to practice framing questions in a neutral, if not positive way.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, face going pink. “I’m a little nervous about tonight.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Cosette shut her laptop on the half-finished essay she was writing for her childhood trauma class. It wasn’t the most pleasant of assignments for the fall vacation but she was nearly finished and with any luck there were better things to come. She smoothed the hair out of her eyes and walked to her closet. He was still standing in the doorway so she gestured for him to come in and sit on her bed.

“Courfeyrac planned today for everyone to get together and have fun,” she said. She rummaged in the top of the closet for a moment. “If you’re not ready to tell him it’s okay you know? You should do it on your own terms.”

“I know,” he began, curling his knees to his chest and nestling his socked feet in her comforter. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell him. I’m just scared.”

“Of Courf?” She laughed, though not unkindly.

“Well when you say it like that it sounds stupid.”

“Whatever happens he won’t be mean.”

“I know. I just want him to you know…to feel…”

“You want him to feel the same.”

“Yeah.”

She had found what she was looking for and turned back to look at him. His hands were fumbling in his lap. His corduroys meshed oddly with the sweater in a way that made him look a little like a pumpkin.

“Here.” She held out a matching orange hat with a big pom pom at its top. “Wear this, it matches and it’s good luck.”

“Why is it good luck?”

“Because I said so that’s why.” She stuck the hat over his mess of hair and kissed him gently on the cheek.

He smiled, just a little so she could see the crooked row of his bottom teeth and she knew she’d done her job. “You’re going to be just fine Mari.”

***

Since he was small, people had told Enjolras that there were just some things he didn’t understand. They didn’t say this in hopeful, encouraging ways or try to explain what they meant. Consequently, any time the phrase was used he found it infuriating. I will understand he challenged. Or sometimes, when his patience ran thin or temper flared: Then it isn’t worth understanding.

Usually it was people. It was people and feelings and the self-destructive habits of a certain member of their group that he couldn’t understand. It had taken him a long time to warm up to the friends he had. Jokes never clicked with him in time to laugh with everyone else. It pissed him off at first that whenever R told a story he drew everyone in instantly. He could command a room with anything; a pointless anecdote or stupid impression could send the likes of Courfeyrac, Joly, and Bossuet into fits of laughter in an instant. Even Combeferre and Feuilly, who were usually the most focused members of their group, let Grantaire lead them astray, stifling snickers and exchanging bemused raised eyebrows.

When Enjolras captured people’s attention he did it with grand, sweeping prose. He did it by scaring them a little. It was a productive intensity, sure, but it was an intensity that didn’t translate well to causal settings. He sucked at Cards Against Humanity. He was too tense for dancing or drinking or Truth or Dare or anything else normal people did for fun. 

“Are you ready to go? Feuilly just texted me the address.” Combeferre knocked on the door frame gently and came in when Enjolras nodded. They worked well as roommates because Ferre understood Enjolras’s privacy and personal space sensibilities and Enjolras didn’t mind that every free surface was covered with Ferre’s books. They were going to a hay bale maze put on by a local organization that worked with kids in the foster system. Feuilly and Eponine, being especially passionate about the cause, were volunteering. Since Enjolras and the other amis (save Grantaire) had been hard at work planning their next rally, they’d missed the deadline to volunteer as well. Nevertheless, now that the final posters and speeches and venues had been established, Courfeyrac had suggested they attend. For fun. And Enjolras wasn’t good at fun. 

“Yeah,” He stood and rolled up the sleeves of his sweater, attempting to appear casual. Ferre’s eyebrows rose.

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he shot back defensively. R had been on his case about this outing all week. Joking, in that maddeningly sarcastic way of his, that  _their fearless leader was too uptight to spend a day on Earth with the rest of us mortals_. He laughed at him when he argued, for what felt like the millionth time, that R was putting him up on an unnecessary pedestal. He’d shaken his head the way he always did, and clapped him on the shoulder. No one but R was so free with his touches, at least when it came to Enjolras, and something about it made Enjolras’s insides feel warm and liquidy. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. He sucked in a breath.  _Let’s just get this over with._

***

If Marius wasn’t going to take this hint Courf didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He’d told him at the last amis meeting that he wanted to hang out with him specifically on this trip. When Marius gave him a confused head tilt, he’d leaned in close so Enjolras wouldn’t notice them talking (and also because he liked being close to Marius Pontmercy) and asked him if they could do the maze, just the two of them. 

Courfeyrac didn’t know if the look on Marius’s face was good surprise or bad but god he hoped it was good surprise.

It was stupid how long he’d had a crush on this dork. It was stupid how long he’d gone without saying anything about it. Tonight Courfeyrac was going to stop being stupid.

Bahorel was driving (despite everyone’s best judgement as he’d honked the horn five times and they’d only been driving for ten minutes) and gradually everyone was piling into the beat up SUV: Bossuet, Joly, and Musichetta climbing over the first row of seats to squish themselves in the back. They didn’t mind. They were usually in a big tangled heap. Enjolras took shot gun and Combeferre knowingly slid over to make room for Marius to sit beside Courf. Marius and Cosette got in last. 

“Hey,” he said gently, as Marius was pushed into his space. The sweater he was wearing was horrendous. Courf loved it.

“Hey,” Marius replied. Bahorel was cranking the radio as Enjolras rose his voice to be heard over it as he repeated GPS instructions. There was already a twinge of annoyance to his voice, probably because Grantaire was meeting them there instead of riding with the rest of the amis.

He shifted so he could face Marius directly and read the nervousness written on his face. “Are you okay?” Courf was good at reading Marius in particular. He knew, just by a glance, when it was time to rescue him at a party. Last year at New Years Marius had gotten himself trapped by the punch bowl and surrounded by a number of drunk party goers. Courf had woven his way through confetti covered friends and friends of friends and slipped his hand into Marius’s. He remembered how relieved he’d looked when they made it outside. The freezing air was preferable to the heat of the crowd, at least for Marius. Courfeyrac thrived in the scalding joy of a dance floor and warm comfort of piling on an unfamiliar couch with people who knew your secrets just by looking at you. But he’d go anywhere for Marius Pontmercy.

“I’m okay,” he said. Courf glanced down and saw that Cosette had put her hand on Mari’s knee. She was looking out the window. “I’m excited to uh...to do the maze with you. I just hope we don’t get lost.”

Courfeyrac grinned. “Yeah,” he laughed.  “Yeah, and I’m excited too.”

He didn’t think anyone would be getting lost tonight.


	2. Hesitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into the maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry these chapters have been short thus far. I'm trying not to fail my self-imposed fic challenge and also not suck at school and other things lol.

Grantaire didn’t want to leave yet. He was sinking in his couch, blinking blearily at the sketchbook in front of him. It was cold with the fall breeze rustling fiery leaves that seemed in almost endless supply, but he didn’t want to get up and shut the window. He had a little time left to finish his sketch of Enjolras. It was messy, as usual. Everything about Enjolras was sharp and well defined and Grantaire could only grasp at straws with his lackluster style. 

He was always doing this: drawing and redrawing Enjolras until his image burned into his vision even when his eyes were closed. It was probably a problem, but Grantaire was good at ignoring problems. This sketch wasn’t so bad when he stopped to look at it. He did, reaching shakily for his coffee mug. The coffee was cold now and his hands were beginning to twitch the way they did when he needed a drink or a cigarette. For the sake of this halfway decent sketch he ignored the shaking. 

Three minutes later he had something halfway decent and a headache. He sunk further in the couch and held the sketch up. It needed the vibrancy of the colors outside his window. It needed the cold too, just enough so you could tell that Enjolras commanded any room he entered. Just enough to tell you that if you looked at him too long you might freeze.

He got up, changed, and splashed some water on his face in an attempt to make himself presentable. He knew the others worried if he looked too worse for wear. Even Enjolras had commented once, after a night where he’d drank more than slept.

“R.” His hand on the table had woken him up. “Are you alright?”

When he sat up he had drool on his face and it took a moment for Enjolras to become more than a blur of gold.

“The meeting’s over,” he’d continued. “Do you want me to walk you home?” he asked brusquely. 

He laughed but it came out scratchy and sad. “I’m fine oh fearless leader. Don’t worry about it.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed and their gaze was icy. “Fine then. You just don’t look well. You should take care of yourself.” He readjusted his bag on his shoulder and turned to leave. R was still trying to process his words when Enjolras hesitated and turned back to face him.

“I don’t know why you call me that,” he said, voice rising . “I’m not...I mean it’s not as if I’m fearless anyway. You’re wrong about me.”

“I’m wrong?” He repeated dumbly. 

“Yes.” Grantaire wasn’t sure he’d seen him this flustered before. The ice had melted as rapidly as it had appeared. His face was almost as red as his shirt. R tried to memorize his expression to draw later but he was too disoriented to capture the details properly.

“Why do you care whether or not I take care of myself?” He asked. It wasn’t the question his brain needed to ask but it was the only one his lips could find.

“Forget it R.” It was almost a whisper. His hands were twitching on the strap of his messenger bag. “Goodnight.”

Today, maybe he’d have the right words. He put on his shoes and grabbed his keys and jacket, carefully emptying the pockets as to leave behind his flask and pack of cigarettes. Impulsively, he tore out the sketch of Enjolras, folded it, and put it in his now empty pocket. It was time to meet the others.

***

Marius couldn’t help but stare at the sky. It had turned a dreamy pink during their drive and was even more brilliant now that he was out of the car. He was glad the fundraiser seemed to be going well. The line to enter the maze was long and he saw Eponine wave from her place at the ticket booth. 

“Damn, good turnout huh?” Courfeyrac said beside him. Marius tried to school his body into normalcy but it wasn’t happening today. Instead he half flinched half smiled and blurted out the first thing he could think of.

“The sky reminds me of you.”

“The what now?”

“The sky,” he repeated, looking around to see if the others were paying attention. Combeferre and Enjolras were busy debating whether or not to get in line now or to check out the brochures the organizers were handing out with the hot apple cider they were selling. “I um…sorry, it’s dumb I was just looking at the sky and thinking about how it’s the color of cotton candy and it’s pretty and calming and reminds me of you. Sorry that’s weird.”

Courf laughed and Marius jumped. “That’s really cute. Why are you sorry?”

_ He called what you said cute not you, _ Marius’s brain helpfully reminded him.  _ Calm down.  _ Courf was taking his hand so he didn’t have to worry about responding.

“I don’t know what they’re gonna do, but you and I are going to buy some cider.”

“Okay.” 

Courfeyrac didn’t let go of his hand until they were at the front of the line. He paid for the cider despite Marius’s deliberate reaching for his own wallet. “I owe you one anyway,” he said, though he said this often and Marius was never certain of what Courfeyrac was supposed to have owed him. If anything, Marius was the one who owed him. His first year of school, when he arrived on campus and found out his grandfather had pulled the plug on his housing contract out of spite, Courf welcomed him with open arms for the entire semester. He didn’t even ask for anything in return even when Marius insisted he repay him somehow. Back then he was working full time in addition to class, nearly sleepwalking back to their apartment on nights when he had late shifts. Still, Courf was there with coffee and flashcards when he needed to study, made sure Marius ate regular meals even when cash or time was tight, and knew precisely when to give him space and conversely, when they needed to huddle under blankets on the couch and watch shitty movies until the sun came up. After a semester of that, Marius didn’t think Courf owed him anything ever again.

The cider was warm and sweet and helped to settle the nerves that had found their way to Marius’s shaky fingers. They rejoined the others, some of whom had cider of their own already, and got in line for the maze. Cosette had an extra cider to give to Eponine when they got to the front.

“I told her to bring gloves but  _ oh no _ ,  _ don’t listen to your smart and caring girlfriend _ ,” she said teasingly. “Her hands are going to be so cold. She’s gonna eat her words.”

Courf laughed. “Mari didn’t bring gloves either did he?”

Marius shook his head and slipped his free hand further up his sweater sleeve. 

“Honestly, what am I going to do with you,” Cosette said, feigning indignance. She looked as if she was going to put her hands on her hips but her hands were still occupied with the cider. She had on the red earmuffs Ep had gotten her for Christmas and she had the matching scarf Marius had knitted for her wrapped around her neck and hair, keeping the hair pressed to her neck like an extra golden scarf. 

“It’s alright, here,” Courf offered his hand again and Marius took it, still reeling from the hand holding moments before. “I’ll be your glove.”

Cosette laughed and he shot her a look, blushing furiously. “I’ll see you two at the end then?” She kissed Marius on the cheek. “Don’t get lost.”

They split naturally into several groups before entering the maze. Joly, Musichetta, and Bossuet linked arms so Bossuet was in the middle (they didn’t trust him not to go in the wrong direction or knock something over.) Cosette, Combeferre, and Bahorel comprised the second group once Cosette had had her fill of distracting Eponine from her volunteer duties. Courfeyrac was with Marius. And finally, Enjolras was matched with Grantaire. Marius found this duo a bit odd but was happy that they were making an attempt to get along.

The hay was piled high and though Courf stood on his tiptoes to try to to see over it, he couldn’t. They worked at the puzzle easily for awhile. Marius liked figuring things out, even if he was a bit slow on the uptake at times. They took turns directing, switching when they hit dead ends. When Marius’s direction got them nowhere he apologized and Courf told him not to because the fun was in the challenge. So far they hadn’t managed to bump into the others.

“Do you remember that time I talked you into singing that song from Grease with me during karaoke?”

It had been Eponine’s birthday and they’d sung “Summer Nights” so of course he remembered. “Yeah, why?”

Courf was looking wistfully up at the cotton candy sky. “Nothing, it’s just the thing you said about the sky. Except for me it’s you and that song.” He turned his gaze back to Marius and smiled. “I’m really glad you’re here with me,” he said.

_ Oh god, he should do it now shouldn’t he? It was the perfect time. There wasn’t anyone or anything to interrupt him but his own seeping fear. There was nothing but the voice at the back of his head telling him he wasn’t worth the trouble he caused. There was the part of him that still felt like the little kid who was nothing but ignored. He was still the anxious, dorky, mess who didn’t even have his life together enough to articulate what he’d felt for years. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t… _

“Hey, are you okay?’ He blinked and Courfeyrac’s shock of dark hair flickered back into clarity. The concern in his eyes nearly paralyzed him.

“I um...need a minute. Sorry.” His feet moved before his brain told them to and then he was taking off through the maze, leaving Courf speechless in his wake.


	3. Declarations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kiddos get out of the maze.

“It looks like you’re stuck with me,” R said, rocking back and forth on his heels as they paired off in the line.

“Don’t say it like that,” he replied. “I’m not stuck with anyone. I’m here with you.”

He laughed and ran a hand through his unruly curls. “Careful Apollo, someone might think we were friends.”

Enjolras was already irritated but he wasn’t one to give up (on anything, ever) so he ignored Grantaire’s statement and focused instead on the task at hand. “I have a strategy to get through this,” he said tightly. He intended to follow the right hand rule, a trick that people on the internet had extolled the merits of. Enjolras wouldn’t go into a problem without a well researched plan of attack.

“Get through it?” Grantaire scoffed. “Getting lost is part of the fun.”

“In what world is being lost fun?” Enjolras shot back.

“In this world. In this context,” R replied. He lifted his cup of cider and took a sip of it. Enjolras noticed that his hands were shaking.

They inched further in line and Enjolras watched Cosette consult Combeferre and Bahorel before leading the way down one path. Joly took off running in the opposite direction and Musichetta and Bossuet followed. 

“Consider it a challenge,” R said. “If we finish last we win. If we get hopelessly lost we win.”

“Fine,” Enjolras said. He threw his empty cider cup in the recycling bin and turned to look at Grantaire properly. “I won’t let you down.”

R’s gaze lingered for a moment. He was looking at him with some emotion Enjolras couldn’t pinpoint, as per usual, eyebrows drawn slightly but eyes soft. “What?” Enjolras said, irritated.

“You never let me down,” R said simply. And then they were at the front of the line. It was time to get hopelessly lost.

Enjolras has first met Grantaire by accident. He’d stumbled in late to one of the first ABC meetings and had frozen when Enjolras glared at him mid-speech. It turned out R was only at the Musain to look for a sketchbook he thought he’d lost there. He only sat down, he told him later, because he was afraid Enjolras would accuse him of “pledging allegiance to our capitalist overlords” if he didn’t. He never found the sketchbook because, and Enjolras has never breathed a word of this to anyone, he’d found it earlier and after flipping through the pages of smudged charcoal forms and powerful, angry looking profiles, he hid it in one of his dresser drawers. He didn’t know why he never gave it back. Something about staring at the messy lines and coffee stained doodles in the dark, when he couldn’t even hope for sleep, was the best thing to make him calm.

He let Grantaire take the lead. He held his tongue when they took a mishmash of repeated turns, and instead stared up at the pink and orange sky and breathed in the earthy scent of hay. There was something safe in being closed in like this. In another life maybe he lived in a world of narrow streets and tight spaces.

“How about that way?” R said, pointing arbitrarily. His hands were shaking again and Enjolras tracked the movement as he ran a hand through his hair again. 

“Are you okay?”

“Why? Do I not seem okay?” R said, words tight and clipped. He put his hand down though, stuffing it into his jacket pocket.

“You’re shaking.” Enjolras hesitated. “Are you...on something?”

Grantaire laughed, high and cold. His expression looked wrong against the warm comfort of the hay bales.

“Jesus fuck Apollo no I’m not on something, I’m off everything for once.”

Enjolras shook his head. “I’m not sure I understand.”

Grantaire sighed. “C’mon, we’ve gotta keep moving.” He reached out and took Enjolras by the wrist gently, leading him off in another direction and most likely further from the exit.

“I’m sorry,” Enjolras said, catching up with the pace of the conversation. Grantaire’s hand was still at his wrist. He wasn’t looking at him. “I didn’t mean to...”

“I know you didn’t. I’m shaking because I’m in withdrawal. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make things weird.”

“It’s not my business anyway,” Enjolras replied. “I shouldn’t have pried, I was just worried you weren’t...”

“It is your business.” He stopped again, turning around to face him. A couple of kids raced by, laughing and throwing handfuls of hay at each other. Enjolras shifted closer to R to stay out of their way.

“What do you mean?”

R’s face had scrunched up with frustration or maybe anger. It was somehow harder to tell up close, like the details of his unshaven face and eye bags and long lashes complicated things too much.

“I mean I do this shit because I want to be a better person, a person who won’t let you down.”

“You don’t let me down.”

R scoffed. “Are you sure?” He didn’t meet his eyes anymore, just looked at him slightly off focus, like he was staring at Enjolras’ eyebrows.

“I’m sure,” he said, puzzled. “I just said I was sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“We both know I’m not like the rest of you,” R said, with a vague gesture around the maze, presumably in reference to the rest of the amis still making their way through it.

Enjolras didn’t care that Grantaire wasn’t like them. Maybe he did in the beginning, when R’s presence felt like a constant challenge, when he thought that R really didn’t care. But now...well now was complicated. Because he knew R cared, even if he never said it, even if they argued, even if he was drunk or infuriatingly sarcastic Enjolras knew when he saw him with the others. He knew from the easy smiles and comfortable conversations R had around tables at the Musain, that Grantaire belonged with them. Sometimes he thought R was more like the rest of them than Enjolras was. But he didn’t know how to say any of that. For once he was out of words, and it drove him crazy.

“What do you mean R?” He said instead, too sharply. “Why do you care what I think of you?”

R looked at him now, jaw slack. “What? Do I have to spell it out for you?”

Enjolras’ face burned. Yes. You have to spell it out. He doesn’t understand. He just never will.

“I…” He couldn’t get the words out. “I’m trying you know. I came here. I wanted to prove you wrong, prove that I could relax and have fun like the rest of you. I feel like I’m the one proving myself around you, always. So yeah, yeah you have to spell it out for me! Someone always has to spell it out for me!” The words tasted bitter. His fists were balled up at his sides.

“Apollo…” Grantaire was too close. Close enough to read the insecurity that had bubbled up in him.

“I told you not to call me that. I’m not...I’ve never been...I tried to tell you.” He trailed off as Grantaire continued to stare at him. They were stopped in the middle of the maze again, lost too completely.

Grantaire was quiet for a moment. Enjolras’s shoulders tensed, bracing for a blow. They were both apt at saying crushing things.

“I’m sorry,” he said at last. “I didn’t know how you felt,” he sucked in a breath, as if bracing himself too. “I care what you think because I…”

And then Marius Pontmercy whipped around the corner in a disorienting blur of orange and crashed directly into the two of them. Enjolras fell forward onto R and knocked his head on a hay bail (which wasn’t so much painful as it was itchy) and the three of them crashed into a confused heap in the dirt.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. Are you guys okay? Did I hurt you? I wasn’t looking where I was going I was just running I’m sorry I…”

“Mari,” R recovered first, and Enjolras quickly moved off of him as he sat up. “It’s okay. We’re fine, right?” He looked over at Enjolras for confirmation and he nodded, hoping he didn’t look as flushed and angry as he had a moment ago.

Marius hugged his knees and shook his head side to side nervously.

“What happened to Courf?” R asked gently.

“We were kind of talking about something and I uh...freaked out and ran away.”

Enjolras picked a stray piece of hay out of his hair and stood up, brushing dirt off of his jacket. R moved closer to Marius, still on the ground, getting the knees of his jeans in the damp earth.

“What were you talking about?” Enjolras asked.

Marius looked up at him uncomfortably. “Um...something.”

“Something something?” R prompted, knowingly. Marius nodded.

“Great,” Enjolras said, exasperated. “Just let me know when I can be in the loop, alright?”

“Do you want me to find Cosette for you? Would that help?” R asked, helping Marius up. He nodded.

With surprising grace, R scaled one of the hay bale stacks, getting himself high enough to see over the maze.

“Cosette!”  He looked around for a moment.

“Yeah?” Came a faint voice.

“Marius is looking for you!” R waved one of his hands. “Can you see me? How can he get over to you?”

“Oh! I think I’ve got it, stay right there R!”

R did as he was told and Cosette found the three of them easily. Grantaire climbed down. Now the both of them had hay in their hair. They left Cosette and Marius to the discussion of whatever something meant.

“Bad timing,” R said when they were alone.

“Is he going to be okay?” Enjolras asked.

“Mari?” R looked over at him. “Yeah, Cosette knows just what to say when his anxiety gets bad.”

“And Courfeyrac?”

“Is in love with Marius. Which is the something. They’re both trying to tell each other how they feel. That’s why Couf’s been so gung ho about today.”

“Oh,” Enjolras said, putting the pieces together. Courf talked about Marius a lot, but he’d never come out and told him. “People don’t tell me things like that. I think they assume I’m not interested.”

“Do you wish they did?” R said, hesitantly. “Are you interested?”

Feelings made him uncomfortable. Causes, projects, carefully drafted speeches, those things he could handle. He could talk for hours at amis meetings. He could speak before crowds like it was nothing, but none of that involved reflecting on feelings. If Couf had told him, Enjolras wasn’t sure what he’d say. Was congratulations sufficient? Or I’m happy for you? What if he’d asked him for advice?

“I want to be better at being interested,” he said. “If that makes sense.”

“It makes sense.”

“You were saying something before Marius ran into us.”

“Right,” R said. He stuck his hands in his pockets. “I...fuck, it’s gone.” R fished around in his pockets frantically. 

“What’s gone?”

“The sketch…I had a sketch of you in my pocket for good luck and now it’s…fuck, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Enjolras said. “I uh… I have a few of your sketches at my place, if we’re being honest and direct and everything. I found that sketchbook of yours at the Musain and didn’t return it.”

“Why?”

“I liked looking at it too much.”

“You’ve never needed to prove yourself to me Enjolras. I admire you more than you know.”

“I admire you too. Your art, the way you talk to people, the way you make them feel safe.”

“It’s not a bad thing to spell things out,” R said, smiling slightly. “Maybe we should do it more often.”

“Maybe,” he replied, matching his smile.

***

“Slow down Marius, tell me what happened,” Cosette said. The maze was starting to feel less fun and more claustrophobic by the minute. 

“He said something really nice and I was about to tell him but then I freaked out and ran away like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “But you can’t just leave him hanging. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell him right now but you can’t abandon him in a maze with no explanation.”

Marius cringed. “You’re right. You’re definitely right.”

She smiled, the dim light still caught her hair. When he looked at her he always saw gold. 

“I’ve gotta find him.” 

“Uh huh,” she replied. 

“Do you think I could do it the way R did?”

She looked taken aback. “You want to climb up there and yell? You know you have to yell for him to hear you right?” Yelling has never been Marius’ forte. 

“I’m going to fix this,” he said, summoning a confidence he wasn’t sure he had.

She patted his shoulder, impressed. “Okay.” 

***

Wandering through the maze alone after being confusingly and spontaneously fled from wasn’t exactly how Courfeyrac had expected today to go. He thought things were going well. Actually, he was just about to tell him. 

Maybe he knew. Maybe he guessed it and ran to save himself the awkwardness of rejecting him. But this was also Marius he was talking about, the same Marius who was surprised at the twist every time he saw  _Fight Club_ because he always managed to forget he’d seen it. 

It might be best just to head to the exit at this point. The others were probably there. But leaving the maze felt like defeat. If he left then the trip was a waste. 

He was weighing his limited options when he heard him. 

“Courf?” Marius called in an almost-yell. It was enough. 

“Mari?” He looked around for a moment before realizing Marius was above, perched precariously on the other side of the hay bale wall directly in front of him. 

“Oh! You’re right there, good.” He was bright red. “Cosette helped me up here.”

“Why are you up there Marius?”

“Because I need to tell you something. And I need to do it now.”

Courf looked up at him and held his breath. 

“I’m sorry I ran away. I didn’t mean to leave you like that. I just got scared.”

“Of what Marius?” 

“Of telling you how I feel. It was the perfect time to and I couldn’t find the words. But I have them now.” 

Courfeyrac took a few steps closer. He hoped everyone in the maze wasn’t staring. 

“I have feelings for you...romantic feelings,” Marius said. “And I was scared to say something because I didn’t want to mess up our friendship, but you’re always going to be my best friend. No matter how this works out that’s not going to change. Not if I can help it anyway. So I’m sorry, and also I hope I didn’t make everything weird.”

Before he knew what he was doing Courfeyrac was climbing the other side of the hay bale to meet him. It was unstable with the both of them up there but he didn’t care. 

“I have romantic feelings for you too you big nerd. And I wanted to tell you today, that’s why I suggested we go through the maze together.”

“Oh,” Marius said, eyes widening. “Oh, good.” A grin spread wide on his face, and he looked so pretty with his bright eyes and freckles and hay in his hair. 

“Good,” Courfeyrac repeated. “I’m glad you found me.”

“Me too.”

***

R was having trouble wrapping his head around the fact that Enjolras liked his sketchbook enough to keep it, and also that in the maze he’d been dangerously close to telling Enjolras everything about how he’d loved him from the beginning, and how he loved him more the longer and better he knew him. 

One by one the amis has made it to the finish line. Cosette and Eponine were reunited. Combeferre and Bahorel were strategizing for next time. Courf and Marius were holding hands. Bossuet has failed to mention his hay allergy and was being doted on by his significant others. 

They couldn’t find the sketch. They’d looked for a bit, retraced their steps and sifted through the dirt where they’d fallen, but it was either snatched up by a kid or the wind or trampled beyond recognition. 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t find it,” Enjolras said as they made their way to the cars. 

“It’s okay, the real thing’s better.” 

Enjolras laughed. He didn’t do that often and the sound made Grantaire feel more lightheaded than the withdrawal made him already. 

The others where piling into the van. R’s car was a few parking spaces down. They stopped. 

“Look,” Enjolras said. “I care about you. I need you to know that even though we fight I care about you very much.”

“I care what you think because I’m in love with you,” he blurted out. Time felt slower. Enjolras stood frozen, wind blowing his hair. 

“You...me? Are you sure?”

“I’m very sure.”

Enjolras was beet red. “Well, um, thank you for being direct. I...I mean I believe I also have...I’m not good at feelings but I believe I’m also interested in you, romantically. Could we um...might we talk more about this over coffee perhaps?”

“Coffee,” R couldn’t tear his eyes from Enjolras’s flustered features. He was better when he was human, he decided then. It was better to see him the way he really was. “That sounds great.”

“Excellent,” Enjolras said. “I should um...” he gestured back to the car, whose occupants were all definitely watching them. 

“Yeah, great. We’ll do coffee then.” 

Enjolras nodded and then turned to the car.

“Hey,” R stopped him for a moment. 

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re pretty good at getting lost,” he said. 

Enjolras smirked. “It’s all part of the fun, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza, it's not November anymore. Sorry this took me so long to finish!


End file.
